"All the Single Ladies. All the Single Ladies." All the Single...Me

Fellow Readers,

Hello again. I hope all is well. I have a feeling this will be a pretty quick post. Especially because I have a class in a short while. Why do I always write after 2:00 AM? Who am I kidding, though? When has anything I have talked about ever been "quick?" Just look at the amount of rhetorical questions I pose: they could amount to at least 25% of my posts, I am sure. Anyways, I just wanted to talk about relationships and whatnot. I have recently seen numerous blog posts about marriage and such, whether it being married, getting engaged, or single and looking (probably looking harder than one should). So, why not join the exhausted list of relationship posts, right? I like to attempt to stay hip, you know. I have to try to appeal to the younger audience every-now-and-then. So let us get at it, then. Relationships. More specifically, romantic relationships.
Webster defines a relationship as the way in which two or more people or organizations regard and behave toward each other. For our purposes, obviously, we will use people. I have nothing against organizations. I just do not think they will tie into what we have got going on here. Webster decides to further his definition by stating a relationship is also an emotional and sexual association between two people. Okay Noah (Webster's first name, for those who do not know him personally), way to make things awkward. I for sure know that using organizations in this example would not be appropriate. We are dealing with an entirely different situation when we talk about the sexual associations between two or more organizations, which may or may not be illegal. At any rate, moving on. Let me see if I can find my point in all of this verbiage. Romantic relationships are a huge deal in our every day lives, regardless of your age (assuming you are old enough to know what romance is. I will not put an actual age on that, because it differs from person-to-person). So, let us dig deeper into those definitions. Beginning with the second (because, why not? Starting with the first thing in a series is so mainstream), relationships have a ton to do with emotions, and in today's society, sex is also big. What kind of emotions are you sharing, or would share (I would never leave out my fellow single homies), with your romantic partner? Hopefully, all of them. If you are not, I would question the validity of your relationship with that person. A relationship can never be just happy all of the time and butterflies and unicorns and what have you. It is just impossible to do. There are just going to be those days, or that one thing you disagree on, etc. Conversely, a relationship will never last if all you share are poor emotions. What would be the point? However, a relationship that shares the good and the bad, and still want nothing else in this world but you partner, that could work. (DISCLAIMER: I do not consider myself a relationship guru: this whole post is just what I personally think. Take it as you will.) I will save the sex part for later. Moving on to the first definition-a relationship is the way two people regard and behave towards each other. How do you behave towards your partner? How do you regard your partner? Do you try to control them, or do you trust them? Do you value and cherish your partner, realizing by some incredible force you have managed to find this partner, or do you halfheartedly sit back "knowing" you have your partner locked down, putting in no effort? Relationships take constant work and a constant expression of how much you care about your partner and how thankful you are for them. We are in no way owed a romantic partner, so do not act like you are done when you have yours. Never stop pursuing your partner.
Now, the moment you all have been waiting for: Sex. For most of you reading this, you know that I am a Christian. Therefore, I choose to follow what the Bible says about sex: it is a no-go outside of marriage. I do not think that is limited to Christians, nor am I condemning anyone who claims to be a Christian and has had premarital sex. That is not the point. The point is why I think we should follow that rule. There is no doubt sex is an amazing thing to be shared with your partner. The Bible, therefore God, calls us to have sex (Gen. 1:28- be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and have dominion over it. *rough paraphrase* Prov. 5: 18-19-Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. *Yep, the Bible indeed says that). The thing He also calls us to do, is to only have sex with our husband or wife, leaving sex outside of marriage as adulteress behavior, thus a sexual sin. That is a red flag for me when I think about sex. Do not do it outside of marriage. For those who do not claim to be Christian, and Christians as well; why should we wait until marriage to have sex? I like to believe there is a sense of pride to be had, if you can tell your new husband or wife that you waited for them; you valued them so much that you preserved yourself for them; you wanted to share the most intimate thing two people can share with only them. That is something special, and sadly all too forgotten in the world we live in today. 
So, where do we go from here? For those who are currently in a romantic relationship: love your partner. Do not take them for granted. If you are a guy, act as if you are still trying to muster up that courage to ask her out; do not stop pursuing her; still try to come up with those creative dates that are going to sweep her off of her feet. Women: pursue your man. Knock him off his guard; you take him out on a date; do not stop being that girl who made him feel fuzzy on the inside. Couples: wait for each other; remain abstinent. Christian couples: center your relationship on Jesus. Dig in His word together; pray together; push each other closer to Him. If you do so, you will find that you are not perfect for your partner and they are not perfect for you, but Jesus is perfect for both of you and the perfect example of what love is. 
For all my single friends, what is next? Do not get desperate. I know there is this strong desire inside of you to find a partner, trust me. But, you have to be patient. Still try (a relationship is not just going to happen out of no where), but do not force yourself to like someone just because you think they may like you. Take the time to get to know other people. Christian single peeps: take this time to build your relationship with Jesus. Dig in His word; pray; pursue the Lord. Plan those cheesy, creative dates with the Big Guy upstairs. FYI: no one will love you more, so why not spend time with that relationship? Prepare your heart for your future partner. Remain abstinent. 
If you have stuck with me 'til now, thank you for reading. I told ya I was kidding myself when I thought this could be quick. Again, I will say I am no expert in relationships. I hope this post will challenge you to evaluate how you are working in your relationships. I hope this post can help you grow. I apologize if I offended anyone. I know sex can be a very touchy, tabooish topic. If you did feel convicted by some of this stuff, I encourage you to not run away from it, but to flat out throw it out into the open. Face it. Pray about it. Feel free to contact me about anything. I am not without sin. Let's share our struggles people! Also, feel free to challenge anything I put in here. I would love to hear people's opinions on this stuff. 
Thanks for reading.

Signing off. 

"Honesty Hour" Revisited

Fellow Readers,

Hello again. I hope everyone is doing well. For most of you (assuming most of you are college students, no reason, just assuming), school has started back and is running strong. It is about that time for tests to start rolling in. For that, I say, "Good luck." I also say, "Thank you," because you have taken the time away from your studies to take a little glance at my blog here. Thank you, as well, to everyone else who is taking the time to detach from your busy day to read my post. It really does mean a lot for all of you guys to support me like that. So, thanks again alls yous guys (my feeble attempt at some obscure, northernish accent, maybe that of a Michagonian? I doubt that is what they call themselves...). For any of you who care-also, any of you who do not care, because let's face the facts here: my blog, you are reading it, you must read what I put down, hence no control on your part other than not reading, please stay on board, don't leave, I will not put anything too uninteresting in here, I am really just rambling at this point to extend what I am calling, "the world's longest interjection of a sentence set off by hyphens," okay, I will continue, no more of this, I promise, at least for this sentence-so far, my semester is starting off pretty strongly. The workload in my classes is pretty minimal so far. Tonight, was the first time I have worked all semester, so I have had a lot of free time on my hands-which has its pros and cons (no further elaboration, you will just have to determine for yourself how not working can have its pros and cons). In that free time, I often go and work out with a good friend of mine. It has been good so far; we just started an actual regimen outside of just our usual cardiovascular workout. Needless to say, we are both pretty sore. But, it is going to pay off in dividends in a little while. Also, in a few hours I will be headed off to North Carolina with a few friends for a day of skiing. I know, I am up pretty late considering we are leaving Cooke-vegas at 4:45 in the A-M, but I am just not tired. It will be my first adventure at skiing, so hopefully I do not just fall all day. Wish me luck! That pretty much catches you all up on what has gone down this semester so far: just hanging out with friends, going to class (on most days...), not working too much, working out a little bit, pretty much just the usual.

Now, we shall move onto the "revisitaion" of my previous post. I last left off in a pretty darkish time. A quick synopsis: I demeaned women, lacked some spiritual food, was going through the motions, sucked. Yep, that pretty much sums that up well. "Andrew, how have you used that last post a.k.a. confession to move forward?" I am glad you asked that question. Quickly, "thank you," again, is in order for all of you who offered words of encouragement, prayers, or both, for me. It was really humbling to see others sharing in my struggles. I have to be honest, it did take a while for me to do anything with that last post. I spent the entirety of my Christmas break not changing anything in my life. It actually somewhat worsened, since I was not going to RUF anymore while we were out of school. That pretty much guaranteed I was not getting fed spiritually. However, right before school started back up, coinciding with the loads of effervescent people making New Year's Resolutions, I decided it was time to stop wallowing in my own self-pity and start to work on me. The first step-stop doing things for me. What? Working on me by not doing things for me? That was a hard concept to follow, but, it was simple: The reason I was wallowing, was because I was selfish and was tied to my own desires. The solution was to attempt to tie myself to the Lord's desires. So, I embarked on, what the Christian radio stations are calling, a New Year's Revolution. Unlike the radio stations suggest, I was not just choosing to listen to only Christian music for 30 days, but instead, recommitting myself to the Lord. My first step was to repent of my sin. The most important part of that step was to consciously accept that what Jesus did on the cross was ENOUGH. I did not have to feel terrible about all of the crap I did, because He paid the ultimate price so that I may be clean. What I have realized more recently, as recent as today actually, is when I wallow in my sin, feeling depressed, afraid to even pray because I know I have disappointed Him, I actually am saying I do not think what You did was enough, I do not trust Your grace atones. That is crazy! Why would I be hiding my face from Him, when I should be running towards Him crying out to Him to take charge in my life?! Now, I have to take the time here to add in that realization does not mean that I or anyone else should just freely sin and have no care about it, because we are covered. That is not what I am saying at all. However, we do not have to sink into a depression about it either, but repent and rejoice in the fact that His grace is strong enough to wash us clean. The second step of my revolution was to get fed. Not food fed, although that is also important, but, spiritually fed. I needed to get into His word. This took a little time to get into, but I can now say that I am striving to stay in the word and really study it, not just read it. I am currently working through Acts, 1 John, and Romans. Those all are part of various Bible studies I am participating in. Being in the word is already paying off. Through His word, He is shining His light on all the dark and filth in my heart, and I am beginning to look at everything I do differently. I am starting to realize more sin in my life and things I need to work on that I never used to think about. One important thing He is showing me is I do not just need to focus on the "Do Not's" checklist, but I also need to spend time on the "Do's" checklist. What I mean is:  I do not only need to think about what I should not do or act like (i.e. sin), but I need to also focus on what He has called us to do (i.e. evangelize and just love each other). I often find myself mentally going through the "Do Not's" checklist throughout the day, but never considering that "Do's" checklist. What would our days look like when we started focusing on the do's as well? It is pretty encouraging to think about. The final step in my revolution is to become active, not just go through the motions. I need to be a seller too, not just a consumer. I often find myself riding shotgun in my spiritual life, rather than grabbing the wheel and pressing on the gas. "Andrew, please stop the metaphors and tell us what you mean." Okay, okay. Hold your horses. I will "flesh that out." (I love you Jeff.) What I am trying to say here is this:  For me, I spent a lot of the last six months or so just living passively in the religious world. I went to RUF, listened to the message (sometimes), but never applied it to my life. I heard messages either through friends, various social media outlets, or Christian radio (remember, I was not reading my Bible), but I never would "pick it up, and run with it." The change has to be active. When I read His word, I need to take the time to think why He is revealing it to me at this time, and how it applies to my spiritual growth and life. If I do that, I allow His truth to change my heart and show me how to walk-the-walk. All I can do now is stick to the plan, and allow Him to overflow my heart. I have a lot of room to grow.

This post was in no way an attempt to boast. I still struggle with many of the same things I struggled with stated in my last post. Thankfully, I now know I do not have to shame myself and hide from the Lord. His grace is way more than enough, and way more than I deserve. For that, I give Him praise and just say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I hope this post can be encouraging to you all and if any of you want to talk about anything, you are always free to hit me up on that Facebook (or Twitter I suppose, it is just so hard with 140 characters, and no one ever uses DM do they? Let's be real.). Seriously though, I totally would love to talk with anyone about any of this kind of stuff, or anything else. Thank you all so much for reading.

"My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father-Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world." -1 John 2:1-2

Signing off.